Monday, December 28, 2009

200X: A decade to digest

I thought of many ways to look back at the last ten years and reflect. Everything from a version of "We didn't start the fire" to a chronological analysis was on the cards. Then I decided to go back to the basics - the alphabet. So I present to you the 33 things I best remember the last decade for:

Airports: Remember when you didn't have to take your shoes off before getting on a plane? Remember when you could bring a bottled drink on board? 9/11 changed all that and airports will never be the same.

App: There's an app for that! The phrase comes from Apple iPhone advertising, but could apply to the entire decade's gadget explosion, from laptops to GPS systems. If you don't own an iPhone you ain't cool!

Blog: I blog, you blog, he blogs ... How did we spend our time before blogging?

Blackberry: In 1999 a blackberry was a mere summer fruit. Introduced in 2002, the smartphone is now considered essential by corporate CEOs and moms planning playdates. Cell phones have almostl replaced land lines. On the downside, they've made cheating on a spouse more difficult — just ask Tiger Woods.

Columbia: the space shuttle that carried Kalpana Chawla and never came back...or came back in pieces.

DVRs: Suddenly, DVR-ing is a verb, and what it means is this: There's no reason to know anymore what channel your program is on, and what time....wait a minute, you still need that to program your DVR.

Eight: 8 Olympic gold medals at Beijing, 6 more from earlier editions, people still wonder if Michael Phelps was the result of a genetic mutation!

Florida: Elections were the fairest way to decide in a democracy. All that changed when George W. Bush claimed the presidency over Al Gore, a day after the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the Florida Supreme Court's decision requiring a statewide recount was unconstitutional.

Google: This was the decade that Google became a part of our brain function and vocabulary. If you don't know something - Just Google it.

GPS: We can't get lost anymore — or at least it's pretty hard, with the ubiquitous GPS systems. But you'd better type in your location carefully: One couple made a 400-mile mistake this year by typing "Carpi" rather than "Capri."

Harry Potter: The West never really had rich mythology to boast of...until JK Rowling decided to change that. 7 books and 8 movies later...yeah the last book is now made into 2 movies..., Mr. Potter is the world's greatest wizard, ahead of David Copperfield!

iPod: An icon of the digital age, it's hard to believe this portable media player was first launched in 2001. Six years later the 100 millionth iPod was sold. To me it will always be the precursor to the iPhone.

Jackson: Michael, of course. The trials, tribulations and the end. He will always be remembered for Thriller and the millions of children he touched...I meant their lives!

Karim: Jawed Karim, founder of YouTube. Seriously, let's end this list and go kill some time by watching ... YouTube videos!

Lance: Armstrong - The ultimate sportsman.

Mumbai: Terrorism was not new to India nor to Mumbai, but 26/11 was exponentially, a new chapter. The Taj, Leopold Cafe, Victoria Terminus - historical landmarks and hubs of public activity in India's financial capital were targeted and homeland security was exposed.

Netflix: The DVD by mail service that brought prices down and gave me one more thing to procrastinate.

Oscars: 2009 will also be known as the Year of Rahman. His best music arguably was in the 90's but his legacy was defined in 2009 with twin Oscars for Slumdog Millionaire...and he is from my high school.

Peace: or the lack there off. Started with the war on terror, fought in the wrong place, of course. Terrorists were in Afghanistan and there were no WMDs in Iraq. So much for intelligence! Don't get me started on the Nobel!

al-Qaeda: (Ok, I cheated a bit with the phonetics.) The group that symbolized world terror with an event that proved that none was immune to terrorism.

Reality TV: As a nation, we became addicted to reality TV, from "American Idol" to "Survivor" At decade's end, the Salahis of gatecrashing fame give reality TV some unwanted attention.

Recession: We saw it at the beginning of the decade and much to our own bewilderment we saw at the end too. Dot Com burst followed by the Wall Street wiggle.

Starbucks: It's a cliche that there's one on every block, but sometimes it seemed like it — and millions now consider it normal to spend $4 or so on a coffee in the morning, ridiculous!

Texting: R u still rding this blg? Hp u r. E-mail is so '90s.

TV: Television screens became bigger and flatter. At the same time, though, people were watching movies and videos on the tiniest screens imaginable. Gosh I miss the old set with an hourglass figure and a nice rear!

Twitter: The new social network introduced tweets, retweets, follows and trending topics — as long as it fit in 140 characters.

Usain Bolt: You cannot find a more aptly named athlete. Speed redefined. Just don't fall down from grace, please!

Victory: Sen. Barack Obama's forefathers dreamed of becoming free. He became the leader of the free World. Tried to avoid this cliched mention, but can't. Too big of a moment.

Wii: In a sea of ever-more-sophisticated video games, this simple console became the decade's breakout hit by appealing to the non-gaming masses. Wiis became a center of family gaming, home fitness and even senior socializing.

Wikipedia: time to sell those big volumes adorning book shelves. Encyclopedia Britannica? Is that Latin for a British bicycle?

X-rated: Superbowls used to be PG13. They still are. But half time shows are a different matter altogether. Wardrobe malfunction became Janet Jackson's greatest contribution to the English language.

Y2K: the ultimate anti-climax as we welcomed the millennium. Fears of computers crashing and the world coming to a halt only materialized in Hollywood.

Zuckerberg: and co-founders Dustin Moskovitz, Chris Hughes and Eduardo Saverin, launched Facebook from their Harvard dorm room. Can you believe this social networking site was once limited only to Harvard students? Silly Geeks! Now it's a time-sucking obsession for more than 300 million users globally and a whole new form of social etiquette: It's not official unless it is on FB.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Seinfeld reunion

"That ending was so much better than the one that I wrote." -Larry David says in an unusual display of humility. You almost wonder if he was talking about the ending to the reunion special, or the "Seinfeld" finale.

Here is my opinion on the "Seinfeld" finale: It's not that it didn't work because the characters were revealed to be selfish and shallow and awful human beings. We already knew that. It didn't work because Larry was worried that his audience hadn't figured this out on their own, and that he needed to tell them. And his need to make that point got in the way of the comedy. It wasn't an episode; it was a list of all the bad things Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer had ever done.

And he's always been adamant (including in a line in this episode) that he has no regrets about the finale. But I feel like Larry has given "Seinfeld" fans the ending they deserved but didn't get a decade ago.

In fairness, placing this "Seinfeld" reunion in the confines of a "Curb" episode makes it easy for it to stand out. It's all the good bits, none of the plot mechanics: just joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. But what we did see of it, here and in "The Table Read," felt much more along the lines of what the finale should have been: just one last collection of stories involving these four socially maladjusted people.

Now, as an episode of "Curb," I'd put this one a little behind "The Table Read," which had the benefit of introducing most of the reunion show jokes already - though this episode featured Jerry's wonderful rant about BlackBerry etiquette. But it still had plenty of inspired moments, whether it was Larry smiling through his pure hatred for Mocha Joe as he filled his tip cup with $20 bills, or the use of "Having said that" as a classic Seinfeld-style catchphrase.

The highlight, easily, was Larry's brief attempt to play George Costanza, and the bizarre meta moment of Larry David broadly playing the mannerisms of an actor who became famous for playing a shorter, stockier, slightly more lovable version of himself.

In the end, the episode provides the exact kind of happy endings that "Seinfeld" itself eschewed: the reunion comes together and is terrific, and Larry and Cheryl get back together, albeit with Cheryl getting an instant reminder of why she left the guy in the first place.

As a "Seinfeld" fan, I feel like I finally got all I needed to see of Jerry and friends. Having said that, I never seem to get enough of the fab five (I had to sneak that in!)

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Golf Digest Magazine Cover: Obama/Tiger Woods

The issue is available on newsstands now and CNBC reports that Golf Digest says it has no plans to pull it.

"10 Tips Obama can take from Tiger"? Huh. I can think of a few dozen. (Aside: "How to outsmart your buddies"? "Load it & let it go"? This cover is a gold mine of unintentional comedy.)

Tiger and Obama have a history; Tiger spoke at Obama's inauguration and later visited the White House. Obama, of course, has begun embracing golf despite being more of a basketball guy on the campaign trail.

There's also a complementary list -- 10 things Tiger could learn from Obama -- and there's plenty of opportunity for one-liners there as well. Or you could come up with a Letterman List of things that Tiger could learn from Clinton...Bill, of course.

P.S: Courtesy a friend: Heard Tiger is changing his name to Cheetah!

Friday, December 4, 2009

The US sneezes and Dubai catches a cold!

Last week, when most Americans were busy eating turkeys, the world was hit with news that Dubai, one of the seven emirates in the UAE, now seems to be defaulting on its debt, rattling global markets. This photo feature in the NY Times presents a dark, but interesting picture of the situation.

Dubai had invested tens of billions of dollars in real estate, construction and other activities in a bid to lessen its dependence on oil exports. Diversification is not a bad way to hedge risk, financially speaking. But as they are now learning, dependence on real estate and construction, financed by inflationary credit is not really hedging. Wait a minute! Didn't the US already prove that to the world?

True, but a big difference is the strengths of the two economies - while the US economy is built on a strong foundation of innovation, financial endurance, technological brilliance and entrepreneurial spirit for more than a century, Dubai's is primarily that of an oil merchant, with a spattering of other businesses trying to take shelter in its tax-friendly shores. Dubai has merely exploited natural resources and has been importing talent from abroad with little skills and knowledge-transfer to drive its economy. In other words, the US can catch a cold, close a few banks, foreclose a few homes and survive the swine flu, but Dubai might not.

Also, given its heavy dependence on the US and Europe, this should not have been a surprise at all. Alas, the learning probably came too late for the Arabs.

It is difficult to say with certainty at this point what the repercussions will be. The most likely scenario is that the damage will be largely limited to the Arab Middle East as most of Dubai's dealings are made according to the principles of Islamic finance (which non-Muslims have limited stakes in) and that the repercussions for the rest of the world will be limited. However, a small risk exists that the problems will spread through indirect mechanisms to the rest of the world - definitely India and Pakistan whose expatriates have flooded the Gulf for years.

But, given Dubai's control over the oil supply of the World, it is only a matter of time before a bail-out package arrives from Washington DC, funded by the taxpayers of the US, for a lifetime supply of cheap oil - from Obama with love!