Curb Your Enthusiasm - Seinfeld reunion

"That ending was so much better than the one that I wrote." -Larry David says in an unusual display of humility. You almost wonder if he was talking about the ending to the reunion special, or the "Seinfeld" finale.

Here is my opinion on the "Seinfeld" finale: It's not that it didn't work because the characters were revealed to be selfish and shallow and awful human beings. We already knew that. It didn't work because Larry was worried that his audience hadn't figured this out on their own, and that he needed to tell them. And his need to make that point got in the way of the comedy. It wasn't an episode; it was a list of all the bad things Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer had ever done.

And he's always been adamant (including in a line in this episode) that he has no regrets about the finale. But I feel like Larry has given "Seinfeld" fans the ending they deserved but didn't get a decade ago.

In fairness, placing this "Seinfeld" reunion in the confines of a "Curb" episode makes it easy for it to stand out. It's all the good bits, none of the plot mechanics: just joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. But what we did see of it, here and in "The Table Read," felt much more along the lines of what the finale should have been: just one last collection of stories involving these four socially maladjusted people.

Now, as an episode of "Curb," I'd put this one a little behind "The Table Read," which had the benefit of introducing most of the reunion show jokes already - though this episode featured Jerry's wonderful rant about BlackBerry etiquette. But it still had plenty of inspired moments, whether it was Larry smiling through his pure hatred for Mocha Joe as he filled his tip cup with $20 bills, or the use of "Having said that" as a classic Seinfeld-style catchphrase.

The highlight, easily, was Larry's brief attempt to play George Costanza, and the bizarre meta moment of Larry David broadly playing the mannerisms of an actor who became famous for playing a shorter, stockier, slightly more lovable version of himself.

In the end, the episode provides the exact kind of happy endings that "Seinfeld" itself eschewed: the reunion comes together and is terrific, and Larry and Cheryl get back together, albeit with Cheryl getting an instant reminder of why she left the guy in the first place.

As a "Seinfeld" fan, I feel like I finally got all I needed to see of Jerry and friends. Having said that, I never seem to get enough of the fab five (I had to sneak that in!)

Golf Digest Magazine Cover: Obama/Tiger Woods

The issue is available on newsstands now and CNBC reports that Golf Digest says it has no plans to pull it.

"10 Tips Obama can take from Tiger"? Huh. I can think of a few dozen. (Aside: "How to outsmart your buddies"? "Load it & let it go"? This cover is a gold mine of unintentional comedy.)

Tiger and Obama have a history; Tiger spoke at Obama's inauguration and later visited the White House. Obama, of course, has begun embracing golf despite being more of a basketball guy on the campaign trail.

There's also a complementary list -- 10 things Tiger could learn from Obama -- and there's plenty of opportunity for one-liners there as well. Or you could come up with a Letterman List of things that Tiger could learn from Clinton...Bill, of course.

P.S: Courtesy a friend: Heard Tiger is changing his name to Cheetah!

The US sneezes and Dubai catches a cold!

Last week, when most Americans were busy eating turkeys, the world was hit with news that Dubai, one of the seven emirates in the UAE, now seems to be defaulting on its debt, rattling global markets. This photo feature in the NY Times presents a dark, but interesting picture of the situation.

Dubai had invested tens of billions of dollars in real estate, construction and other activities in a bid to lessen its dependence on oil exports. Diversification is not a bad way to hedge risk, financially speaking. But as they are now learning, dependence on real estate and construction, financed by inflationary credit is not really hedging. Wait a minute! Didn't the US already prove that to the world?

True, but a big difference is the strengths of the two economies - while the US economy is built on a strong foundation of innovation, financial endurance, technological brilliance and entrepreneurial spirit for more than a century, Dubai's is primarily that of an oil merchant, with a spattering of other businesses trying to take shelter in its tax-friendly shores. Dubai has merely exploited natural resources and has been importing talent from abroad with little skills and knowledge-transfer to drive its economy. In other words, the US can catch a cold, close a few banks, foreclose a few homes and survive the swine flu, but Dubai might not.

Also, given its heavy dependence on the US and Europe, this should not have been a surprise at all. Alas, the learning probably came too late for the Arabs.

It is difficult to say with certainty at this point what the repercussions will be. The most likely scenario is that the damage will be largely limited to the Arab Middle East as most of Dubai's dealings are made according to the principles of Islamic finance (which non-Muslims have limited stakes in) and that the repercussions for the rest of the world will be limited. However, a small risk exists that the problems will spread through indirect mechanisms to the rest of the world - definitely India and Pakistan whose expatriates have flooded the Gulf for years.

But, given Dubai's control over the oil supply of the World, it is only a matter of time before a bail-out package arrives from Washington DC, funded by the taxpayers of the US, for a lifetime supply of cheap oil - from Obama with love!

YGWYPF

During my trip a few months ago to New York City, I picked up some “I Heart NY” t-shirts as souvenirs. After some haggling at one of the hundreds of tourist shops near Times Square (cheap enough so I felt like I didn’t have to take the subway to Chinatown), I happily packed up about 10 of them, brought them home, and doled them out to family and friends.

This is what they looked like after one washing:

You Get What You Pay For!

If Indian then IT...

I was at a Kellogg networking session interacting with classmates, alumni and friends when one of my Indian classmates came over. After the initial ice-breaker (Chicago weather, usually), he immediately asked "I assume you are in IT?".

Though not probabilistically a bad assumption to make, I felt it was socially inappropriate. In fact, I felt offended. I felt like screaming - "I am not your typical Indian guy!" While I didn't make an attempt to guess his field of work, I felt he was crossing his social limits. It is almost like asking a woman if she was pregnant!

So what is it with Indians and stereotypes?

I remember a grill house in Dallas that I used to frequent where the server would almost always ask me and my friends - "Veggie burger?". My friend would get annoyed at this and order a double angus burger just to demonstrate the invalidity of the waiter's assumption.

Another typical restaurant situation is for the waiter to assume that my drink for the night is "water, no ice". I might still ask for it, but the waiter has no business to order my drink for me. These days, I say - "water, lots of ice"

The list goes on.

The point is that everyone tries his/her best to demonstrate that he/she is different. That being the case, to make Indians, or for that matter anyone a stereotype, is a cardinal sin!

Do we need paper receipts?

On a recent trip to Walmart for "a few small, inexpensive items" that usually add up to a surprisingly large number, I got a long receipt measuring from my head to my waist. Given my 5'11" frame that was approximately 36 inches. Sadly, there are certainly longer ones out there. It’s crazy that every time we purchase something we’re handed a newly-minted, custom-made piece of trash made from paper, no less. The experience brought back memories of my recent trip to Switzerland, where I was asked in every store whether I want a ‘ticket’, if I said no, the cashier basically just did not print one out. It is not as if the store detective was going to grab me at the door, with a bag full of groceries in Migros or COOP …at least they have a way of reducing the amount of ’scrap’ paper.

If there’s anything the internet and behavioral psychology have taught us, it’s that smart, small ripples can have big cumulative effects. So it is time we solved this problem of producing junk every time we transact.

Let’s just make receipts available on an “opt in” basis, rather than assuming everyone always wants one. We’d save a lot of paper and ink. Also, with everything from shopping to friendships going digital, why not receipts. Stores should just capture receipts digitally, and make it accessible online if you want them. A great example is the Apple store which emailed the receipts of my last purchase. As always, the "fruit" company, as Forrest Gump famously noted, seems to be on the cutting edge of innovation!

If you were to take this idea further, here are a couple of thoughts:

1) Charge people if they want a printed receipt, with the money going directly to planting a tree with the Arbor Day Foundation. How could Whole Foods say no to this one?

2) Receipts are also a problem at restaurants (i.e., credit card slips). Let’s put e-signature screen at or in the tables to save on paper and send receipts directly to email. So easy. So environment friendly.

Let's say no to receipts!

Breakfast Italiano! - Eggs in tomato and basil

It’s wet, it’s grey, it’s dark at 1 o’ clock in the day, there’s a recession, the country is falling apart, I’m working too much, I NEED comfort food!! OK, maybe it’s not that bad. This recipe is a perfect “pick me up” when you need something warm and comforting, it’s as far from “fine dining” as you can get, it’s wet, sloppy, requires lots of bread for mopping and is the perfect cure for a bad mood. There’s no way to dress it up, it’s simple, rustic and soooooo delicious. I love fried eggs anyway so the addition of tomato sauce makes it even better.

what you need:

1 x 400g tin of Italian tomatoes

4 eggs

1 small onion

1 clove garlic

olive oil

6-8 leaves basil

grated Parmesan cheese

sea salt and black pepper

tsp sugar

lots of crusty bread or Parmesan mash

what to do:

1. chop your onion and garlic

2. fill the base of a pan with oil, add your onions and garlic and cook over a low heat for 7-10 mins until soft but not coloured

3. add your tomatoes and cook for 10 mins until starting to thicken, season, add your sugar and basil and cook for a couple of minutes

4. add your eggs to your sauce

5. cover and cook until the white is cooked and the yolk is soft and runny

6. season and sprinkle with Parmesan cheese

7. serve with crusty bread and enjoy the childish fuzzy feeling of breaking the egg

eat, mop, slurp……….repeat!!

buon appetito!

Scared of heights? Try "The Ledge"

For those scared of heights, the Sears Tower Skydeck was probably never on their list of “must-see’s.” But the new glass floored observation point will undoubtedly thrill those looking for the ultimate view from the United States’ tallest building.

“I’m not going out on that thing” is one common reaction to the just opened addition to the Skydeck, named “The Ledge.” But even more common is an exclamation of amazement (with perhaps a tinge of fear) from those who have stood looking between their feet 103 floors straight down. And yes, a very high percentage of the younger visitors do seem determined to lie down on The Ledge as you can see from the photo above taken opening weekend.

Maybe you have never been, or maybe you’re a Chicago native who has been to the top a number of times. Either way, with the Ledge you have a whole new reason to go.

Alternative Uses for Everyday Things

The recently-launched AltUse website does exactly what you’d think it would do: suggest alternative uses for everyday objects around your home (Not in a “make a hat out of newspaper” kind of way, but more in a “coffee grounds make excellent fertilizer” kind of way). I would link to some of the more engaging entries—like the Aspirin Facial, or Toothpaste Bruise Healing—if the website itself wasn’t contstrcuted so poorly (you can’t link to individual entries, it seems, and some weird scripting prevents the use of the backward and forward navigation buttons). Despite these limitations, I like the idea that this database is out there and growing; the spirit of waste-not-want-not revised in a modern context.

Cash for Clunkers

The Car Allowance Rebate System (acronym: CARS) is going into effect today. Commonly known as “Cash for Clunkers,” the program gives cash vouchers to people who trade in inefficient cars for new, cleaner ones. The New York Times’ Wheels blog summarizes:

Essentially, consumers can get up to $4,500 toward the purchase or lease of a new fuel-efficient car or truck if they bring in an old vehicle that gets a combined average mileage of 18 miles a gallon or less.

On paper, “Cash for Clunkers” hits something of an immediate domestic policy trifecta: it reduces our dependence on foreign oil; it saves Americans dollars at the pump, allowing for increased consumer spending (and the economic stimulus that generates); and it should help bolster the sputtering market for Detroit’s latest offerings.

And that’s not to mention the environmental benefits, which could be huge. (Does that make it a quadrafecta? A superfecta?) Gather this—American cars more than 12 years old account for only 25 percent of the miles driven in the United States, yet they produce roughly 75 percent of all automobile-born pollution, including greenhouse gasses and low-level pollutants like ozone and fine particulates that wreak havoc on the lungs of urban dwellers.

So now that the specifics of the program have been hammered out, how did we do? Bloomberg has more details:

Consumers will get $4,500 vouchers if the new car they are buying gets 10 miles-a-gallon better gas mileage than the model they are trading in. For light trucks, the improvement must be 5 mpg better than the older model, and for large light trucks, 2 mpg.

For a $3,500 voucher, the improvement for cars must be 4 mpg or better, for light trucks, 2 mpg, and for large light trucks, 1 mpg. The trade-in vehicle must be no older than a 1984 model and get 18 mpg or less in combined city/highway fuel economy.

New passenger cars purchased with the vouchers must get at least 22 mpg in city/highway fuel economy, light trucks must get at least 18 mpg, and large light trucks 15 mpg. Domestic as well as foreign models sold in the U.S. qualify.

Unfortunately, you can’t use one of these vouchers to buy an efficient used car. But the Sierra Club likes the program. They have a calculator up on their site that will show you the money and carbon you could save depending on your current car, new car, and annual miles driven.

Anyone out there planning to take advantage of this Cash for Clunkers program? What are you trading in and what are you getting?