Shaolin Soccer

I am not a big soccer fan and so I restrict myself to just the World Cups. (NBA, NFL, Tennis and cricket continue to hold sway over me). The glorified initiation that got kicked off with Maradona's genius in '86 never really grew on me as it did on some of my other friends who follow English Premier League and Spanish League with their own fantasy teams just like I follow NFL.

Recently I happened to watch a soccer game on TV as part of Copa America and it got me to wonder why the game never really got my adrenalin pumping. Even Golf, which I thought could never be a TV sport because of the snail like pace and Boxing, which always got me to wonder why the two guys are fighting in the first place, eventually won over me, but Soccer remains my neglected step-child. Why?

The primary reason is that the game's ultimate motive - to score goals - happens very infrequently. The average number of goals in in the 2006 World Cup was 2.27 (Source: Wikipedia, where else?). Assuming a 90 minute average time per game, that translates to a wait of 40 mins per goal. Though for the rest of time we might be treated to excellent dribbling, solid defense and swerving free kicks, 40 minutes is too long a wait for a single piece of action that moves the game forward.

So what can be done to make this game more appealing to me and the others (mostly Americans I would imagine) who share the same view of the most popular game in the globe. Here is a simple solution - take out the goal keeper.

What does this do to the game?

1. It takes away the use of hands from the game completely. All players are now bound by the same rules.
2. In my opinion if the person has taken the ball past the midfielders and defenders, there is no need for him to go past one more opponent who can can use his hands, to score a goal. Having a goal keeper in soccer is akin to having Shaq guard the basket in NBA for the full 48 minutes (imagine the scoreline of Basketball games in such a scenario) or playing cricket with 15 players, all of them planted on the boundary.
3. Taking goalkeepers out of the game would definitely improve the quality of defense and offense. All players are now forced to play tough defense and block shots and not rely on the goalie and to score, they must work the ball close to the goal and not take long shots; so control, dribbling, passing and movement are all better than the regular game.
4. Most importantly it would increase the number of goals scored in a soccer game without sacrificing its quality thus making it more attractive for people like me to watch.

What do we call this? Shaolin Soccer?