Fictitious Facts about Rajnikanth

This was forwarded to me by an American friend who read my post on Sivaji and Rajnikanth. Thought I will share it with you. It is hilarious. Enjoy.

Top Rajnikant Facts known to man:

• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajnikant has allowed to live
• Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant
• Rajnikant counted to infinity – twice
• When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down
• Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head
• Rajnikant’s hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush in Poker
• Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is
• Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile
• Rajnikant can slam a revolving door
• Rajnikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost
• Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a Padayappa on Satellite TV
• There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikant has beaten to different shades of black and blue
• Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through
• Rajnikant doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear
• Rajnikant can divide by zero
• Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Rajnikant turnaround kick
• For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Rajnikant, each testicle is larger than the other one
• When taking the GRE, write “Rajnikant” for every answer. You will score over 1600
• Rajnikant invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink
• In the beginning there was nothing…then Rajnikant kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe
• Rajnikant has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth
• Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage
• Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajnikant”
• Rajnikant ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one
• If you Google search “Rajnikant getting his ass kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
• Rajnikant can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds
• Rajnikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint
• It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes – no, he doesn’t have a TIVO
• The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off
• There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai
• Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink
• Thousands of years ago Rajnikant came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decedents now have white hair.